Remember that you are powerful.
You play a role and cover up your true yourself by identifying with “things” that end up defining who you are. The truth is, though, we are none of those things. They are symptoms of the sleepwalking disease. You are more important than any label. You are not as professional as yet. You express your feelings and act per circumstance. We are not even our minds.
What we are is far greater, far superior, far more important, and far more mysterious than our conceptual mind tries to define. This is why we are far more powerful than we think we are.
Choose to embrace life.
Let go and embrace the moment, whether it contains an obstacle or an opportunity. Stop fussing over trivial matters and start focusing on what’s important to you.
Don’t go through life expecting things to change. Life becomes hard and unfair when we decide to complain about things rather than trying to change them ourselves. Wake up to the truth that life is not a practice run.
Be bold and courageous, and make decisions that benefit your growth. Put yourself on your imaginary death-bed and realize that time stands still for no one. Start as soon as possible to make any necessary changes you may need to.
Take the first step before more time gradually passes by while you stand still stagnating. Your choice. Your life. Your responsibility. Your power.
Realize that you get to control your reactions.
We create our outside reality by the thoughts and beliefs we maintain about life in general. What we believe in our inner world, we see in our outer world—not the other way around.
We all have problems, and we’re often tested by circumstances outside of our control. Even though you may not be in control of what’s going on outside of you, you most definitely can control your reaction to those situations.
We have the power because our inner world (cause) affects the influence we allow the outer world (effect) to have on us. So next time you hear somebody mention that you have great personal power, know they are 100% correct. You have more control than you think.
Know that no one is better qualified than you and learn accordingly
We place far too much emphasis on other people’s opinions about us, often to the exclusion of our own. This takes away from our power. No matter what anybody says about you, it doesn’t hold any significance to who you truly are unless you identify or agree with them.
Stop identifying with other people’s opinions and become aware of how you see yourself. Nobody knows you better than you do. Never accept another person’s reality as your own. Always believe that you can achieve anything you put your mind to. And, most importantly, never let another person’s opinion of you affect what you believe about yourself.
Believe that you are more than enough and know accordingly
If you have to compare yourself to someone else, let it be a less fortunate person, and let it be a lesson to learn just how abundant your life truly is. It’s just a matter of perspective.
You may find that you are not entirely grateful for what you possess. You may believe that you need more than you have right now to be happy. If this is the case, then you are right—you will need more, and you will continue to need more.
This cycle will perpetuate as long as your mind believes it to be true. If you focus on what you have, and not on what you lack, you will always have enough, because you will always be enough.
You have arrived. Everything you need is right here. Cut out the distractions, open your eyes, and see that you already have everything in your possession to be happy, loved, and fulfilled.
It’s not out there. It never was out there. It’s in the same place it was since the day you were born. It’s just been covered up by all the external things you have identified with over the years.
Be yourself. Love yourself completely and accept everything that you are. You are beautiful. Believe it, and most importantly, remind yourself often.
If someone cuts us off in traffic or skips the queue at our local cinema, we may feel our blood pressure begins to rise and feel the need to react negatively. We get uptight with other people’s actions, and in the end, we punish ourselves for their bad behavior.
We end up losing control over our actions because of the way other people act. But we are responsible for our actions, regardless of how rude other people may act. If it’s hard to stay cool, remember: you are the one who loses in the end, if you lose the lesson.
We know life is about the journey and not the arrival. We don’t need to arrive if we accept that we are already here.
Be content with where you are today and don’t make the mistake of putting off being happy because you are waiting for the right moment to shine. Sometimes it takes a conscious effort to enjoy the journey.
Not everyone woke up this morning and not everyone will go to bed tonight. Life has no guarantees. Every minute you are living is a blessing that has to be experienced at the moment. It’s not always easy, but it’s always an option—a choice. Your choice.
Find an optimistic viewpoint in a negative situation.
One of the simplest but most effective ways to build a more positive outlook has in my experience been to ask more helpful questions as often as possible.
When I am in what seems like a negative situation – maybe I have been lazy, made a mistake, failed, or stumbled in some kind of way – then I like to ask myself questions like:
What is one thing that is positive or good about this situation? What is one opportunity within this situation?
Doing so is a whole lot better than what I used to do in such situations. Because back then I usually asked myself how much I sucked and how things could get even worse now.
I do however not always use these questions right away.
Oftentimes I need a bit of time to process the thoughts and feelings that arise in the situation before I can do that.
Trying to force optimistic thinking when you are still in emotional turmoil or a bit shocked usually doesn’t work that well.
cultivate and live in a positive environment. Stay positive
To be able to stay positive it is essential to have influences in your life that support you and lift you instead of dragging you down.
So carefully consider what you let into your mind.
Who are the 3 most negative people I spend time with?
What are the 3 most negative sources of information I spend time on?
Consider the answers. Then think about how you can start spending less time with one of those people or information sources this week.
And how you can spend more of the time you have now freed up with one of the most positive sources or people in your life.
I have found that when I go too fast when I try to think, talk, eat, and move around in my world quickly then things don’t go too well.
Stress builds up. Negative thoughts about just about anything start to well up and I feel like my power decreases.
But if I slow down just for a few minutes – even if I have to force it by walking, talking, and eating slower – then my mind and body calm down too. It becomes easier to think things through again and easier to find an optimistic and constructive perspective.
Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.
It’s very easy to lose perspective, especially if you are stressed and you are going too fast. And so a molehill can become a big and terrifying mountain in your mind.
A simple three-step way to handle these situations so they don’t get out of hand is to: Say stop.
In your mind, shout “STOP!” or “NOPE, we are not going down that path again!” as soon as thoughts of this kind start to spin in your head.
After you have disrupted the thoughts by shouting stop sit down and just be still.
Breathe with your belly and focus on just your in-breaths and out-breaths for a minute or two to calm your mind and body down.
Question your mountain building thoughts by talking to someone close to you and getting a more grounded perspective on the situation by just venting or by getting his or her input.
Or simply ask yourself this to widen your perspective and to chill out:
Will this matter in 5 years? Or even for 5 weeks?
- Don’t let vague fears hold you back from doing what you want stay Positive
Sometimes you may want to take a chance in life. Start a new habit that feels unfamiliar, your own business on the side, or ask someone out for a date.
A common trap when you want to do one of those things is to get lost in vague fears and about what could happen if you took action.
And so the mind runs wild fueled by fear and it creates nightmare scenarios and plenty of self-doubts. I know. I have been there many times.
So I have learned to ask myself this: honestly, what is the worst that could happen?
When I have figured that out I also spend a bit of time trying to figure out what I could do if that that often pretty unlikely thing happens.
I have over the years discovered that the worst thing that could realistically happen is usually not as scary as the nightmare my fear-fueled mind could produce.
Finding clarity in this way doesn’t take much time or effort and it can help you to avoid much mind-made suffering. And help you to get going, step outside of your comfort zone and take that chance.
- Add value and positivity to someone else’s life.
What you send out you tend to get back from the world and the people in it. Not from.
But what you send out there matters a whole lot.
What you give them and how you treat them is what you’ll get back. And the way you treat others and how you think of them also tend to have a big effect on how you treat and think about yourself.
So give value and spread the positivity by for example: Helping out.
Lend a hand when moving. Give a friend a ride in your car.
If he or she needs the information then help out by checking it up on Google or asking a friend of yours. Or start a blog or a podcast and share what’s helped you out in life.
Sometimes people don’t want any direct help.
They just want someone to be there fully and listening as they vent for a little while. Boosting the mood.
Smile. Give hugs when appropriate. Play uplifting music when hanging out with a friend or suggest an inspiring movie for your movie night.
Or encourage when someone has had a bad day or are going through a tough time.
- Exercise regularly and eat and sleep well. Stay Positive 5
This is very obvious of course.
But I know the big, big impact a good night’s sleep or good workout can have when my thoughts are pessimistic and I have a lot of tensions on the inside.
And I know how much simpler it is to think clearly and optimistically when my belly is not empty.
So I highly recommend being careful about these basic habits that may sound boring. Because they do have a huge effect either way depending on how you manage them.
Learn to take criticism healthily
One of the most common fears is the fear of criticism. It can hold people back from doing what they want in life.
Because having negativity flowing out of someone’s mouth or email and it being about you can hurt. And being rejected can sting quite a bit.
But if you want to take action on what you deep down want then criticism is pretty much unavoidable. So the key is learning to handle it more healthily.
By doing so your fear of it will lessen and it will hurt less if you do get criticized.
I usually use four steps when I get some criticism. Maybe they can help you out too:
Step 1: Don’t reply right away.
When you are angry, upset, or riled up then is time to calm down a bit before you reply.
Take at least a couple of deep breaths or a little time to process the message before you respond.
Step 2: Listen to the criticism.
Try to remain open and level-headed and figure out how this message can help you. Ask yourself:
Is there one thing I can learn from this criticism? Is there something here that I may not want to hear but could help me?
Step 3: Remember that the criticism isn’t always about you.
Some criticism is helpful. Some are simply attacks or someone lashing out because they are having a bad day, year, or job.
To lessen the sting of such criticism – often really angry or overly critical in an unconstructive way – I try to be understanding. I think to myself that this person might not be feeling so good at the moment.
Step 4: Reply or let go.
No matter the content of for example an email I try to keep my reply level-headed and kind. I may add a question or two to get more specific feedback that is helpful.
And if they don’t reply or I have simply gotten a nasty attack then it is time to delete it and to let that situation go.
If something still gets under your skin then know what to do
Sometimes something can still get under your skin and hurt you. Even if you use the steps above. Two things that have helped me with that challenge are:
Let it out.
Just letting that issue out into the light talking it over with someone close can be very helpful to see it for what it is.
And to find a healthier perspective on the situation. Improve your self-esteem.
I have found over the years that with stronger self-esteem things drag me down less and they don’t ruin my day as much anymore.
Negativity from others bounces off me much more often instead. If you want practical help with this then have a look at my 12-week, step-by-step Self-Esteem Course.
How you start your day usually sets the tone for the rest of your day. So be careful about how you spend your mornings.
If you get going at full speed, lost in future troubles in your mind then the stress, perceived loss of power over your life, and negative thoughts will ramp up quickly.
If you on the other hand start your day by moving slowly, by having an uplifting conversation with your family or friend or you spend some time reading or listening to inspiring and helpful articles or podcasts over breakfast or during your bus ride to work then that can make a big difference for how your whole day will go.
Mindfully move through your day
When you spend your time in the present moment then it becomes so much easier to access positive emotions and to stay practical about what you can do about something in your life. When you get lost in the past or future like so many of us have spent a lot of time doing then worries very easily become bigger. And failures and mistakes from the past being replayed over and over in your mind drag you down into pessimism.